Now I'm lost.

Am I naive for thinking I have my career and steaming full steam ahead in the PR world? Am I gullible for thinking that by 24 I would have my life on track? Am I foolish for believing the power of a degree would make me stand out from the rest and put me on top of the hiring list?

It was always me versus the world Until I found it's me versus me

Comparison is scary but it's a form of measuring development . If I analyse where my mother was at my age, undergoing her BA whilst raising me and my little brother whilst looking after her in laws and husband working one day a week in Tesco. I really thought my life would be the same but if anything it is far from it. As I grow older, I keep thinking it will get better but if anything the faster time goes by the more behind I feel behind. I'm aware of having a purpose in life but I having the upmost difficulty trying to attain it. How do you even begin to even find it or fathom what it is? I had an interview at Apple and the first question was

'How do you define success?'

I mean talk about a bomb of question. I answered honestly and said by making my parents proud. Now as you can probably guess from the mental breakdown I am currently typing out I did was not successful but at least I was true to myself. To break down the success there are many aspects you could say you're successful. Financially, physically, intellectually so many avenues. I think it comes down to how as an individual sees themselves as successful because another person L could be another person W.

I aim to pursue something meaningful rather than expedient. But how do I figure that out? Doing something meaningful to me is helping my grandmother and taking care of her. Oh I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. It is so straightforward to stay in a job and get paid every week and that be your life but there is much more to life .... right? I feel there is.

All I want is to make my parents proud.